Time to lose the tag

2012 would have been a bloody good movie if it had a little less masala. I mean if the centre of the earth were to erupt at a magnitude of a million times greater than Mt. Krakatoa even Mr. Schwarzenegger would have shit his pants. However, quite a few people survived and that’s all right.  Hope and optimism is indispensible for existence. Thankfully, China saved the humankind – or whatever was left of it. America’s Air Force One, with its state of art in-house technology, was once again capable of saving Mr. Obama’s associates and let us not forget Russia’s ancient communist airplane had its share of heroism too. Likewise, important people from the EU and Japan too had survived the end of the world. Sadly, Mr. Berlusconi who was busy with Noemi Letizia could not make it on time.

But what about the newest ‘emerging’ superpower, India?  I’m sorry to report that we were all killed. At least, that’s the way the film made it appear. These people (i.e. the producers of the film) are not stupid. Their view is not obfuscated by those ‘Incredible India’ ads. With all the rural population willing to move towards the cities for better jobs and a better lifestyle our urban infrastructure is nowhere in comparison to China’s megacities. Forget Beijing, Hong Kong or Shanghai; see what even tier-2 cities have become! The success at Beijing Olympics was no coincidence either. Today, even biggies like the USA, EU and Russia have acknowledged China’s dominance in Asia. That is respect you can only earn. China was once our competitor among developing economies. Today, if we were to compare ourselves to China, we’d fall way behind.

Okay cool, we could be the second ‘emerging’ superpower then. Ahh, not so fast my friend. Not before you consider Brazil. In the past, Brazil was only known to the world based on facts that Brazilian women wore the tiniest bikinis, its glittering carnival celebrations and the samba dance. Keeping its culture and the fun alive Brazil has achieved something that no one saw coming. The city of Rio de Janeiro is now the official host of the 2016 Summer Olympic Games. That’s a big step forward. A step that could define the word ‘emerging’. With Brazil’s achievement we have fallen well behind our BRIC peers.  Can India follow on similar lines? Can we expect New Delhi to host the Olympics in 2020 or 2024? The answer lies significantly on how well we conduct the 2010 Commonwealth Games, to be held in New Delhi. So let’s keep our fingers crossed.

Surely, there has been a bunch of reforms and progress has been made. But if we look at the bigger picture India’s situation seems grim. Plainly, we are losing the race for glory. There is no point in shutting our eyes and ears and proclaiming that we are the best. The government is trying, I’m sure, but it’s not working all that well.  I don’t want to compare my country to Mexico or South Africa or maybe with Romania and Lithuania someday. We are much better than that. The PM’s advisory council is full or graduates from the best Universities in the world. Indians have amazing intellect so why can’t we take the country forward instead of digging up issues like the Babri or Godhra every time we disagree? I’m sure there’s more to India than just I.T outsourcing, obscure rituals and words like ‘culture’ and ‘tradition’. India can only grow with the proactive participation of the government and the people. The need of the hour is to identify a clear direction and act with conviction if we are to be an economic superpower in the years to come. Its time to lose the ‘emerging’tag.

Will you just be making money 'Paa' ?

The upcoming film titled ‘Paa’ has been creating a lot of news lately. Mr. Amitabh Bachchan is playing the lead role of a 13 yr old boy suffering from a rare genetic disorder called progeria, an abnormality marked by symptoms of premature aging in a child. Plainly, the idea of Mr.Bachchan playing a 13yr old is preposterous and when u see the trailer u’ll realize that there is an alien in the film! No wait, I’m sorry that’s the character Amitabh-ji is playing, the character of a progeric. I mean u have to doff your cap to what the make up artists have achieved here. Also, let’s not forget that Mr.Bachchan had previously made a fool of himself with few stupid films like Nishabd and Boom but with this new venture he really seems to have pushed the envelope with his acting skills.

However, the film is aimed at creating awareness about this disorder which is a jolly good and honest cause. NGOs and social workers are delighted, awaiting its release. In the recent past, movies like Black (Alzheimer's disease), Taare Zameen Par (dyslexia) and Ghajini (anterograde amnesia) have set the trend in exploring rare abnormalities and all of them have earned rich dividends. Sure these movies have created awareness of the disorders but I have not heard much about if they have brought a positive change in the mental outlook people. Differentially abled people are still looked down upon by the society and so do NGOs who house them often run out of funds. Tisca Chopra said, ''TZP has changed my life in the nicest way'' (i.e. she got lot more offers). That was not the purpose of the film. Or, maybe it was. Like Taare Zameen par, ‘Paa’ too will earn huge profits but I doubt if even a fraction of it will go towards the welfare of progerics (and there are quite a few of them in India). I feel that just like ‘Chak de’ it’ll be unable to raise concerns for the issue it’s addressing and everybody will only remember how smart SRK looked in stubble and not give a damn about the game. Clearly, all producers have picked the clue here. They know that choosing sensitive issues is the order of the day and is going to work well with the audience. Moreover, a star actor should be heading the role. So in Sanjay Leela Bhansali's next, "Guzaarish," Hrithik Roshan will be portrayed as someone suffering from paraplegia (can u believe that? Hrithik Roshan has spent his entire life in the gym and in dance classes, now he’s playing a paraplegic). In “My Name is Khan," Shah Rukh Khan plays an autist portraying Asperger’s syndrome where the victim has difficulty interacting socially.

I honestly wish ‘Paa’ does well at the box office. With Amitabh Bachchan, Paresh Rawal and a composer of the magnitude of Ilaiyaraaja, I’m convinced that a lot of hard work has gone into its development. But more than that I wish the film sends out a positive message about progeria and the disabled in general and takes that important first step (with all the money) towards their welfare. I wish it’s a film with soul and a heart at the right place.

International Year of the Potato

Shortly after the world learnt that Benazir Bhutto had been assassinated I heard a news bulletin in which it was reported that the UN Security Council had gone into emergency session to discuss the developments. I found myself snorting derisively: what on earth would that achieve? But never mind. That should change this year. For the UN has taken time out from wringing its hands about international terrorism, shocking genocide, modern-day slavery and the status of the nuclear programmes of its more awkward members to make a big announcement: 2008 is the International Year of the Potato. 

This is no sideshow. The decision was set out in a General Assembly resolution back in 2005. The UN doesn’t give over an entire year to any old issue. Since 1960, when the programme kicked off with the year of refugees, the spotlight has been shone on many important causes for humankind. We have had the year of the child, women, older persons, disabled persons, anti-apartheid, culture of peace, mountains and the ocean, to name but a few. Now it is time for Solanum tuberosum, the king of carbs, to be similarly honoured.

The International Year of the Potato, or IYP as it is known on the UN’s website, “will serve as a catalyst for information exchange and the initiation of medium and long-term programmes of potato development”. The UN wants to see “heightened global awareness” of this all but forgotten tuber.

The Bandh Senario

On 5th november was a bandh and then tomorrow is one more. BJP just decided that wasn't enuf so they have called a 48 hr bandh on tue and wed. And its not just this month. It's been going on since the Nandigram issue popped up. Thats about a year now. All this time we people have been worried n have sympathized with the victims. But now we're just tired and maybe thats y we need these bandhs. It's more leisure at the cost of a few lives and I don't care. Anymore.

A big FAT bengali wedding...of sorts

Not big enough, nice spacious place and a multitude of people. A good start then.

Early in the evening I was very deterrent about attending the ceremony. I mean, I wouldn’t know anyone there. Except for the bride and obviously she had better things to do that evening than waste her time chatting with some frail guy with a pointy chin, me.

Faces as vibrant as glittering sarees, shimmering with layers of make-up, made the bright lights needless. Men in expensive sherwanis moving about everywhere. I, with my collared and highly informal tee shirt and jeans, looked like a refugee from Cambodia. Instantly, my uncle and aunt had blended with the environment.

Gingerly, I got myself seated on a sofa in the corner of a big hall room. The fan beside me kept messing up my hairstyle. Soon, was joined by a fat bloke with a dicky hip. He was equally annoyed with the fan as his higgledy-piggledy hairstyle was being ruined too.

“Are you from the konya-pokkho”? Bride’s side? He inquired.

“ Yes” I replied.

“Who is she to you”?

“Didi”.

A couple of yards away I noticed a trying-to-be-cool dude was having a rather candid chat with four girls. He had big ears and almost no hair, a comb-over of sorts. He had a goatee. Obviously, he wouldn’t know what a goatee is – I mean, he simply had no beard elsewhere on his face, except his chin. Really, he would’ve looked cooler on a limping donkey with one eye and mange. I was probably showing signs of jealously, I realized.
Another group of middle-aged women were involved in something what sounded like a boisterous chatter. Very fashion obsessed and high on make-up. The obvious topic of discussion among them would be Bengali T.V serials, geomancy, hair and skin care, I guessed.

A tall, fair guy was headed towards me. Hair up to his shoulders, straight with pointed ends.Aah,John Abraham was here. Perhaps hair extensions and day-glow sunscreens was his thing.
“ You can have your dinner now if you want”, he said.

“Ya, good idea”. I answered.

A table of six. Four burly men, one of them sounded like Pavarotti gargling a hammer. Sitting in front of me was a lady in her early 40s. A bloated ugly hog, like Jade Goody. She was staring at the large piece of chicken on my plate and was giving me a derisive smile from time to time.
The food, however, was good. I could find no quintessential Bengali dishes in a Bengali wedding. But I wasn’t complaining. Most Bengali dishes (especially veg curries) are as tasty as lard. So, if you ever find yourself wanting to taste one, jam a corkscrew in to your knee and wait until the feeling passes.
Finally, some chicken briyani and afghan styled dishes. Hmmm, crikey…The lady in front was savoring every bit, eating like a cow. Slower than tectonic movements.

The men beside me were least interested in the food. They were discussing something about politics. Deliberating about the Left’s interests in the Indo-US nuclear deal. Marxism and Mamata Banerjee. And that’s what they do all they. I know. At home, in the bus, in office. No one’s ever gonna sleep with them ‘cuz they’ve such ugly beards and ridiculous principles. If your life's that empty, it's time to take up carpentry or embroidery. Because next thing you know, you'll be worried about global warming and your next-door neighbour, his Land Cruiser’s contribution to the phenomenon. One of them particularly looked disinterested on the political subjects.

“ The fierceness of politics will soon fade away in West Bengal. People are loosing interest”. He beamed.

Others were silent for a moment.

No,no,no - I thought. Politics in West Bengal will still be around long after you’ve succumbed to herpes or whatever it is that you’ve got. Almost said it.

The man with hairy arms was boasting about his newly bought Tata Sumo Victa, and that it could accommodate three persons up front unlike other cars, which had 2 seats. Two things crossed my mind. Firstly, the sumo was designed by a man who only had a ruler. And secondly, just because you have an extra seat up front doesn’t mean you’re going to have a threesome. Summing up, a pretty pointless and ugly car then. But, nevermind.
For me, the party was over. For many others it had just begun.

“Give me the house keys”, I asked my aunt.

“Keno”? Why?

“ Severe bowel pain, I have to go home”. I replied, making appropriate expressions.

Back in the cab I was as relieved as Mr.Haneef would’ve been after he was extradicated.

By 10:15, I was home.

The Less Explained...the better

Since the fall of the twin towers, each day seems to bring us closer to an Orwellian
nightmare. A war without end driven by spoon-fed ideologies, consuming the world.Despite a common Abrahamic origin that so many of us share, we somehow cannot seem to see our oneness.

In the face of what the media portrays, despite Bush's cheerful visits to mosques, the Muslim world sees their activities as modern day imperialism. Which perhaps it is...but lets not go there. They see it as the West against Islam, and the conflict continues to escalate.

Last year, the world had seen Israel attack Lebanon in response to the guerrilla activities of Hezbollah.This year we saw the 'Lebanon conflict' between the Fatah-al-Islam and the Lebanese Armed Forces. With worries over Iran's nuclear program, there is a lot of concern that the US would invade Iran next. But with their forces overextended already, the United States lacks the resources necessary to sustain a conflict with Iran.

Guess I didn't really think about Israel, its partner in the Middle East.

After 9/11, terrorists have attacked India, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Spain,London, Bali, the lot. The Taliban are regrouping in Afghanistan and its government seems ever so shaky. According to the 2007 "Failed States Index", Iraq has recently emerged as the world's second most unstable country, following Sudan, tipping ever-heavily towards a civil war. North Korea is rattling its nuclear tipped sabres. Oil prices are at record highs and support for our foreign adventures back here at home is wavering.

It seems likely that as we continue to get bogged down in quagmires of our own making, other conflicts will emerge. And as truth becomes the first casualty of war,long bottled tensions will suddenly bubble up.

Perhaps the Global War on Terror is really World War Three, only most of us just haven’t realized it yet.

Photos of Israel's war on Lebanon (Warning: These images could be very disturbing)

The Forest

It’s funny how sometimes we happen to draw an analogy from the most ubiquitous and minutely useless things that happen around us. I, for example, was watching a housefly trapped in a spider web. Obviously, I did not deliver it because I couldn't be bothered. And when u watch 'Animal Planet' u find predators on the hunt, innocent animals being butchered-just like the fly. So, where is the relevance? What parity did I derive? Unlike the spider I don’t have eight eyes or eight hundred legs and I don’t suck juices out of a fly. But cogitate a bit and we find a crucial match...its the habitat


Wrapped in silence
The forest looks still
Do not be fooled
Life lurks within

Everything that lives in it
Is a predator or a prey
Be the sly agile hunter
And you live another day

Eat or be eaten
The laws are here to stay
Bloodshed isn’t uncommon
A small price to pay

Ravish the warm blood
Success has a sweet taste
No ethics or guilt here
It’s your survival at stake

So sharpen your senses
And live for the day
Have no regrets
Slay or be slayed.

And before u get more baffled
By what I wish to say
Look around,
It’s in the forest we all stay...